Embracing Healthy Masculinity: A Father’s Day Reflection

Hey girlfriend! As Father’s Day approaches, it's the perfect time to reflect on what healthy masculinity looks like and why everyone—including women—should embrace their inner masculinity.

Masculinity is not the opposite, nor the lack of femininity; it is its complement. When I hear the word "masculine," I often think of the warriors from the movie 300—tough, fierce, and savage soldiers, yet they clearly cherished and protected their women above all. Masculinity provides the safe harbor for the softness of femininity. I once read an excerpt comparing men to the sun and women to the moon. Just as the Earth needs both the sun and the moon, we all need a healthy balance of both masculine and feminine energies in our lives.

Masculinity shows up differently in everyone, but we can distill it into a few core, healthy traits: assertiveness, ambition, confidence, competitiveness, protectiveness, and leadership.

I remember being told that I was a masculine woman. At first, it stung my self-esteem. But with age and experience—I began to understand what these traits really meant. I realized I embodied these qualities, and what was once a derogatory term became a badge of honor. The same applies to men. Your emotions do not make you weak, they are your superpower. Strive to understand, communicate, and channel your emotions into something beneficial for yourself or others. You are no less of a man because you cry, love, hope, or apologize. If anything, these qualities add to your inner strength, emotional intelligence, and overall attractiveness.

Healthy masculinity, like the strength and warmth of the sun, nurtures growth by inspiring and leading. Toxic masculinity, on the other hand, is when the sun becomes fixated on itself, burning and destroying everything around it, including itself.

I'm not sure why social media has shifted toward downplaying one side of the coin—praising the "soft girl" lifestyle while simultaneously criticizing men who take care of themselves. Regardless, I believe both traits—masculine and feminine—are necessary, in both men and women. Be someone who can grill and garden. Who can punch and pacify. Someone with sturdy hands that can move mountains and gently wipe away tears. That’s what I want for myself, my sons, and my daughters—to be firm and flexible, soft and strong.

As I continue to grow older—hopefully gracefully—I intend to keep many of these traits in my tool belt, knowing that the masculine traits I embrace don’t detract from my femininity; they highlight it.

So, as we wish the men in our lives a Happy Father’s Day this weekend, let us remember what it truly means to be a man—both strong and gentle, assertive and nurturing, embodying all the qualities that make masculinity whole and healthy.