Cultivating Love: A Guide to Self and Relationships

Hey girlfriend! The intention of today’s blog is to help you look deeper into your relationships—with others and, most importantly, with yourself.

On Love and Relationships

A relationship, whether with a friend or lover, thrives on mutual respect. Each partner brings their individuality, shaped by unique ideas and standards of what love means. While it might feel easier to want someone who mirrors how we love, the beauty of a relationship often lies in its diversity.

Partnership is an ongoing journey. Love is a commitment—a process that must be demonstrated time and again. It’s filled with moments that elevate us to mountain tops and others that leave us feeling hollow. During those low points, choose patience instead of pain. Strive to extend moments of peace, clarity, and comfort while minimizing conflict and chaos.

But don’t reject the difficult moments; they’re part of life’s balance. How can we truly recognize joy without having experienced grief? These situations are often unavoidable, but what matters is how we respond to them.

Love is a verb, not just a feeling. It’s a side effect of the actions we take. You go to the gym, and you feel good. You eat nourishing food, and you feel satisfied. Similarly, you show respect, you feel respected. You demonstrate care and consideration, and love follows.

It’s important to understand that love doesn’t start with someone else; it starts within us. Think about it: someone can do everything wrong, and we still love them. Conversely, someone could do everything “right,” but we might not feel the same for them. It’s a conscious

Yes, instant connections can feel magical, but even the strongest spark requires consistent effort to keep the flame alive. We must choose to nurture and care, and allow love to blossom.

This applies to our relationships with others and with ourselves.

Building a Healthy Relationship with Yourself

The same qualities we seek in healthy relationships with others—respect, trust, transparency, and intimacy—are exactly what we need to cultivate within ourselves.

Ask yourself:

• Are you your own best friend, or your worst critic?

• Do you respect yourself, or merely tolerate yourself?

• Do you allow yourself room to grow and evolve, or are you clinging to outdated expectations and defenses that no longer serve you?

• When faced with discomfort, do you take responsibility for your emotions, or do you seek ways to numb the pain?

  
  

Many of us carry wounds from trauma. Regardless of who or what caused your brokenness, the responsibility to heal and rebuild lies within you. While others can support your journey, the first step toward self-love is always yours to take.

Our external relationships are mirrors of our internal world. Choosing to love yourself is also a choice to love others. We accept the love we think we deserve, which is why loving yourself—flaws and all—is essential.

Imagine talking to yourself with the same kindness and encouragement you’d offer a dear friend or a child. Nourish your mind and body with that same energy. Show up for yourself, not just in the good times but especially during the hard ones.

Everything you want from another person, you must first offer to yourself. Only then will you truly recognize and appreciate those gifts when they come from someone else.

Love as a Practice

I’ll never forget a conversation with one of my mentors, who said, "Many people think love is a feeling, but it’s actually a verb."

Love is a practice that evolves into a skill and eventually becomes an art. To foster love, we must create space for ourselves and others to grow into it. Love cannot be forced or controlled; it must flow freely.

When we surrender to the process of love, we gain mastery—not by dominating it, but by embracing its fluidity.

Conclusion

Whether in your relationships with others or with yourself, remember: love begins within. Cultivate it, nurture it, and let it bloom—one intentional action at a time.